In our November/December Newsletter, we discussed Raising Boys. We thought it only fair that we now look at some tips on how to Raise Girls.
It’s all very easy to treat our son’s and daughter’s differently for obvious reasons. When we think of boys we naturally think about rolling about, being rough and dirty, however with girls we expect sugar and spice and all things nice – ALWAYS! We see girls as weaker than boys and tend to not encourage them to be strong and forthright. This is encouraged by the many cultural messages sent to us through various media outlets and just general expectations that women should be beautiful, thin, happy, agreeable, and by no means outspoken! What we tend to not realize is that this can result in depression, eating disorders and various other ailments in our daughter’s as they reach their teenage years. So how can we help change this stereotype and encourage our daughter’s to maintain high self esteem throughout their lives. Recognise it or not, your daughter (or son’s for that matter), self esteem is impacted by your attitude. If you are raising your children in a negative environment, chances are this is how your child will be later in life. It is so important to have a balanced lifestyle for every young child and it is now becoming more and more apparent that what happens in the first three year’s of your child’s life, impacts their lives forever. This means every aspect from sleeping patterns, diet, right through to social etiquette.
As parent’s of daughters it is a great idea to read up on the various girl’s issues for which there are many books available at your local bookstore. We also need to recognise that the world is definitely not equal and that we need to teach our daughter’s to overcome this hurdle.
One of the most important people in a little girl’s life is their father. Every little girl looks up to their daddy and has a very special relationship with them. It is essential that a father displays total respect for women and that women in turn respect him. We need to be aware of our everyday language. For instance avoid self deprecating remarks like go to your daddy he’s smarter or when we read stories such as Sleeping Beauty, play down the beauty part and really emphasise the character’s intelligence and adventure. We should try not to be too overprotective just because she is a girl. Therefore, we should encourage her to climb the slide ladder in the playground and when she does really praise her accomplishment in doing so. We should watch our comments about our own bodies or people around us and definitely refrain from gossiping about people. This only encourages her to be the same in later life and not accept people for who they are.
Rather than stereotype our daughters with their toys, allow them to play with a range of different toys if they wish, not just dolls and don’t get too stuck on the colour pink. Let them dress in all sorts of colours and appreciate them all as being pretty. Praise our little girls on their skills not just their appearances. Show them that they can accomplish anything in life that they put their mind to. When playing games with others, allow a girl to be a leader or set the rules of the game or even choose the activity to be played. Importantly make them feel comfortable with competition.
We certainly should expel the Prince Charming myth, that one day they will be swept off their feet, live in a castle and never work again. This rarely happens. These days, most women have to work to earn a living outside of the family home. Very few stay at home mums can be just that. We now have to juggle between both jobs which as we all know applies a huge amount of pressure on our everyday lives.
As we stated in our Raising boys story, we need to remember we are not just raising children here, we are raising adults. We will mould them for the rest of their lives, so it really is the most important job in the world and should be treated as such.
If you have any comments or tips on raising children, please email us and we may include them in upcoming newsletters.