FROM ALL OF US AT BELLA CREATIONS, WE WOULD LIKE TO WISH OUR
CUSTOMERS & NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIBERS
A
VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY & SAFE NEW YEAR!
There is no doubt about it, we definitely raise boys differently to girls, but do we really need to exaggerate the distinct gender differences so much, and by doing this are we doing boys more harm than good?
Research has now proven that girls and boys brains do develop differently. The right side of our brain is for visual memory and spatial patterns whilst the left side controls speech and language. Girls tend to develop the left side of their brain first whilst boys are the opposite and develop the right side of their brain first. This is often evident when girls tend to develop their language skills earlier than boys the same age. Boys also play differently to girls and prefer to be rough and don’t mind playing outdoors in the dirt. Not only does this occur because of how we as parents care for our children and react to them, but nature also plays a big part.
The nature side of things begins at the time of pregnancy where boys are known to have higher testosterone levels which is closely linked to high activity and aggression. From a parenting point of view, we also create distinct gender differences in our children, after all we wouldn’t buy pink clothes for our baby boys nor would we buy them a doll to play with. We tolerate a boy playing a little rough, but tend to discourage this in our little girls. When our little boy falls over and hurts himself, we expect him to be tough and tell him “you’re okay, you’re a big tough boy”. We tend to not recognize that our little boys need us to ask them if they are okay and give them a hug before sending them back out to play. What we fail to realise is that by not recognizing this, we are not helping to build their “emotional intelligence” nor are we teaching them to identify their own feelings as well as empathy for others. They learn from very early on that it’s more important to be tough than to feel free to show their feelings. So how do we as parents change this and what can we do to help our boys grow into emotionally intelligent men.
Firstly it’s important to show physical affection to your little boy. Give him lots of hugs and kisses. Share your feelings with him in an age appropriate way. If he’s scared tell him about a similar time when you were little and felt scared, and enforce that it’s okay to be scared, sad, happy or mad. It’s also important that your son doesn’t just get this from his mother and that his father also shares feelings and affection with him.
We should also teach our boys to be both strong and sensitive as well as to show empathy to others. We need to remember that, not only are we bringing up our children but rather we are bringing up adults. We start with a clean slate when a baby is born and how we teach, treat and care for our children really is going to affect them for life.
There are many great books available now on raising our boys so it really is well worth investing some money and researching this further. After all, we only get one chance at raising our children.
If you have any comments or tips on raising boys, please email us and we may publish them in upcoming newsletters.