COOL, CALM & COLLECTED
A topic that seems to be quite prominent in the headlines at the moment is "To Smack Or Not To Smack" and how to successfully and effectively discipline our children. Whilst I understand that this is quite a controversial subject, it is also a subject that I feel quite passionate about. Do I smack, no I don't! In my opinion for me to lose my temper that badly that I should need to lash out and hit my son is not only a very poor example for him but also a total lack of control on my behalf. I feel there are far better ways to teach my son a lesson rather than teaching him to be aggressive.
I rarely have to reprimand my little boy but when I do he certainly knows that I mean business simply by the tone of my voice and by how angry my face appears. I do this without raising my voice and certainly without smacking him. Should he be misbehaving or not following the boundaries set, I always warn him of the consequences of his actions ie: "If you continue to hit the wall with your car, I will take the car away from you". I also explain to him why he musn't do what he is doing. Never underestimate your child, they do understand what you are saying but it is only human nature for a child of this age to test the boundaries. Once the warning is given and if the bad behaviour continues it is very very important that you follow through with the consequences. If you don't your warnings become empty threats and you will never be able to stop the misbehaving. I don't believe it is necessary to reprimand every bit of bad behaviour. There are times when I believe it is more effective to ignore it and make more of a fuss over good behaviour. I always try to assess the behaviour and think about whether it is detrimental or hurting someone or something. If it is then I reprimand, if it's not then let it go, in other words "Pick Your Battles".
Don't overuse the word "no". They become immune to it and will even blatantly ignore it if they hear it too often. Instead of saying "no" offer them an alternative. Let them make simple decisions for themselves. For instance, if they are asking for a biscuit and you really would like them to have fruit instead say "You can't have a biscuit right now, however you can have an apple or an orange". No matter how much they yell or scream, stick to your guns and do go on with what you are doing as if you can't even hear the screaming. They will eventually come around and get to realise you are not a "pushover", nor is their tantrum acceptable or going to get your attention.
Recently I was appalled to view a poll on Ninemsn about how many people smack their children and believe it is okay to do so. The figure was up around 80% of people who voted who believe it is fine to do so. I was totally shocked and saddened by this result.
I know many of you will totally disagree with my opinion and
even feel incensed enough to write to me and I'm absolutely open to hearing
your views. So let me know what you think and what works for you. We may publish
your views in upcoming Newsletters. Email us click
here.